Delineated Bohemian in Disguise

4 months ago link

4 months ago link

Played 0 times / Lester Young - I Can't Give You Anything But Love /

Art for God’s Sake

I must make sure to not get carried away with this topic, for music is not my idol.

But, to people who have told me or think that going to a music school will take away from the joys of making and playing music itself—I have something to say.
It’s been two years, just about, being a student at Berklee College of Music.  I just want to add a little something to that.  It is true that there are some who, when having an excess of whatever they love doing to the side, tend to veer off and find it less and less interesting.  And then there are some who get so theoretical and worked up when they do have too much of what they love that they forget about the sheer simplicity of that thing they loved doing from the start.
I, however, do not fall into either of those categories and not everybody does either.
Because music is important to me, I sought after its education.  And most importantly, I knew that this is God’s plan for me.  He’s going to use music to make me a helper.  I love this gift of God so much, but not as much as the giver Himself, that to pursue an education of it will only make me develop and craft my skills even further.  It is in this way that I will learn so much more and start to be more practical with the things that I learn.

If I had not gone to Berklee, however, I probably would have stuck to my own ideas of what music ought to sound like—and there is such a naivety about that kind of mindset!  Before Berklee, I did not know how to arrange, read or write jazz/blues/lead sheets (efficiently), apply harmonic concepts and theory to my playing and songwriting.  I might have ventured off into that Christian mainstream minority of a sound, and now I definitely do not want that!  But no offense should be taken.  That’s their personal niche, and this is mine.

For I believe with every fiber of my being that God appoints people to seek after the intricacies of the hidden beauties he has created.  Of these hidden beauties I find music to be among them.  It can be so transcendent—so powerful and pure, holy and indescribable… but why don’t we hear enough of that?

I have read “Art for God’s Sake” by P. Graham Ryken about a month ago and the book so succinctly describes the wonders that God can do in using his people to craft and develop their skills that have been appointed to them.  Coming across music that brings you to tears and points your eyes, mind and heart to the Creator of all creation is rare.  Because music, like art, is meant to be beautiful.  God made the arts!  And He, above all people and all things, know how it ought to be done—how it can so tremulously and shake as well as move hardened hearts, skeptical minds, and humble the proud.  So… God can use the best of the best to create something that hasn’t been done  before as much as he can use the weakest of the weak…and I’m not just talking about song lyrics and chord progressions.  What will strike the inner chord of a skeptic?  What instrumentation, what different sounds, rhythms, concepts can we use for it to be the absolute profundity of what music can be, and how will we make it also powerful enough to glorify God and bless His people?
As Ryken stated, music has the power (but only in God’s hands) to give human beings a glimpse of heaven—to get a taste of the melodious sonnets and flaming tongues above. And it could really be us putting our ears against the wall where on the other side lies the glorious resonances of heaven and of God’s people worshipping the almighty Father, as David Crowder had said.

How can we get this going?  It’s when people rise up to declare that for the worship and glorification of our most glorious God we shall conquer lessons, theories, education, experience and triumphantly use the pivotal points of established institutions on earth to lead others to the glory that is His.  That is our utmost and ultimate goal.  And in this way we love Him and His creation.

God loves His people.  I love God and He loves me.  I love music, and this love of mine for both is not dwindling and it will never do so.  This is my passion and for the rest of my life this is what it’s going towards—revival of the arts for the glorification of the righteous Abba.

Home stretch!~

So, I’m almost done with my third semester @ Berklee.  
I praise God for this blessing, being here in Boston, being influenced by the Northeastern culture here.  It’s definitely different from home in FL, but I absolutely love the quirks and accepting the irritable qualities of this place.
People are generally crabbier here.  There are so many influential, intellectual people in the city and I’m learning so much!  But part of me is wanting to shout, “Slow down a little, won’t you???”

So, work… school… church.  Working and living in Newton, getting to know the people and the area… I’m fixed to this place and I can’t see myself being anywhere else for a long time.  The customers that come into the coffee house are quite interesting characters.  God loves each and every one of them, even when they criticize the drinks we make, the bagels we sell, and the lack of speed and efficiency we provide.  Heck, I’ve done the same thing myself to so many baristas in the past.  I have no say!  

But I’m meeting new people, experiencing stress on all sorts of levels I have never thought possible, and I’m practicing, jamming, writing music and waking up super early in the morning and not getting enough sleep and butt loads of espresso and coffee.

Love the music.  I’m stepping out of my Christian radio/hometown indie music and stepping into broader horizon.  Sometimes I just feel like —-> Hit me with what ya got, I’m taking it all in!

 I would be lying if I were to say that I hadn’t thought about my future in music.  I think about it so often, and I don’t know where I’ll go.  I guess that’s the beauty of trusting in the Lord and realizing that this isn’t my plan I’m meant to follow.  

Lord, do you want me to continue to write music?  Do you want me to learn the art of production and engineering?  What would you like me to do? Where do you want me to go?  I worry about having too many options and missing out on what God has to give because I follow my own plans in thinking I was following HIS the entire time!

It’s hidden from me and I wish He’d tell me.  
But it’s beautiful what He’s doing and I have to know that He knows best.. and not just in my head.  I’m almost there, but not really.  How good will it feel when I finally get to be with Him and rest in His presence?

But until then, I work hard.. I load up on caffeine.  I study. I play.  
And since I am imperfect and in nature, sinful, I will moan, and groan, throw fits, pity myself, be proud, complain and think the world is out to get me.  

I hate doing all those things, and I beat myself up for it because I can’t be perfect and the good girl that I want to be.  But anyway…at the end of the road, my life works won’t define the person I am, for grace has already taken that job.  

Thank you, Jesus.  I forget about you too much and I am too fickle and unsteady.  But thank you for loving sinners like me and for allowing us to be part of your plan.  I can’t wait till we all join you in your house.  Until then,
Your beloved

JO 

Tico

[Edit]

So… scratch it.  Scratch it all.
My friend is gone.  But when I found out, there was a tremendous amount of peace.. a strange kind of peace in my heart.  Maybe it was because i knew I couldn’t do anything to bring him back, nothing that anyone can do or say can bring him back.  

Why did I get so upset?  I was blessed by the people closest to him, seeing how they were praising God in the midst of their mourning and I felt… dumb.  I felt foolish.  

Isn’t this the hope that we have as Christians? That we’re not meant for this world in the first place… I have to constantly be reminded that this is not my home, and why is that?  Why is it that I have to constantly be reminded of the fact that I am foreigner, a child of God?  Because a lot of the time I don’t feel like I am.
So then there’s probably something wrong.

But I’m slowly learning in a very awkward way that God loves me to pieces.  It’s nothing that I ever did or will do, or have ever said or will say.  He loves me simply because Christ died for me on the cross and rose to life.  He loves me as He loves His one and only perfect son.  What kind of love is this!  I have no idea… I pray that He will open my eyes to see just how much He loves me, because I really am blinded in this…

With love comes obedience.
He asks me to lay down my life and to surrender, to pick up my cross and follow Him.  That those who aren’t willing to do so aren’t worthy to be His disciples.  I don’t want to be unwilling.  

I’ve heard the same sermons multiple times, and I’m JUST starting to realize it a little more.  I am loved.. how much?  I do not know fully yet.  
I do not belong here.  My time is short.  Tico probably had no idea that that was going to be his day to reunite with Father, and it will probably be the same for me.  But I at least want to be ready, and I know that Tico was.  He was so ready…or for the most part he was..

I want to drop my plans.  I’m tired of looking for other loves.  I’m tired of burdening myself by doing careless and unfruitful things.  He deserves my all and more, so why can’t I give that to Him?  

Drop marriage.  Drop wealth.  Drop success.  Drop reputation/status.  Drop worldliness and come follow me, says my God.  

I want to, Lord, I want to.  So make me willing. 
<3JL

 

Logan

Time to blog again.  
I’m stuck at Logan Int’l Airport.  
Today’s a blackout date.
I can’t make it to church tomorrow.
I have no sleep tonight—if any, very little.  Because I would then have to sleep on chairs.

Why did I not see this coming?

But it’s all okay.  I am thankful for the fact that I was able to get time off from work to go home.  I am thankful for being here at the airport, alive and well.  No broken bones or achy back from my heavy luggage.  
I can’t go to church tomorrow, but I can certainly go to Wednesday prayer night.  That will be good!  
And I am thankful that for the first time in a very long time, I get to see my parents and my family.  

So Lord, thank you for providing for me.  Thank you for your many blessings.  Thank you for allowing me to be here and reflect on your goodness.  You are amazing.   

Life is a Move

I’m on a roadtrip, ladies and gentlemen.
Sometimes I’m in the driver’s seat.  But most of the time all I wish is that my Lord would take it for me, and He does.  

 There is commotion.  To process everything—I don’t think of it.
Like, when you’re at the T.  Neat things to look at, cool people to meet, the experience to be soaked in, but you’re just needing to get from Point A to Point B that it’s all moving so quickly, and instead of taking the time to stop and smell the roses, everything becomes a blur and all you’re focused on is getting to your destination.

That’s my life at the moment.  There is a mountain on which I’m making my way through.  But in the precious moments in between I have been trying to stop and breathe, and to see God.

It’s all going by so quickly. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, because these past few months have been months of fighting through and being blessed.  What do I have to complain about?  God is allowing me to see Him in the most unusual places, in the most unusual people—and somehow, all these things become beautiful, slowly but surely.  

My summer has been quite adventurous so far.  I’m going to continue to make the most of it.  Don’t stop me now.   

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

straightandhigh:

“Chicago” by Sufjan Stevens and “Clocks” by Coldplay played over each other.